Black Cat Jokes

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Halloween is the purrfect time to tell a black cat joke (or two) . . . so here are some favorites:

Q: What do you call it when a witches black cat falls off a broomstick?
A: A catastrophe!

Q: What is a black cat’s favorite color?
A: Purrrrrr-ple!

Q: What kind of cats like to go bowling?
A: Black Alley cats!

Q: What looks like half a black cat?
A: The other half!

Q: How is Halloween cat food sold?
A: Usually purr can!

Q: Why are black cats such good singers?
A: They’re very mewsical!

Q: Which one of your pets should you scare on Halloween?
A: The scare-de-cat!

Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds?
A: Hailing taxi cabs!

Q: What is a black cat’s favorite song?
A: Three Blind Mice!

Q: What did the black cat have for breakfast?
A: Mice Crispies!

Q: Why did the black cat put the letter “M” into the fridge?
A: Because it turns “ice” into a whole lot of “mice”!

Q: What do you get if you cross a black cat with a white oak tree?
A: A black and white cat-a-logue!

Q: Why do black cats never shave?
A: Because 9 out of 10 black cats prefer whiskas!

Q: What is cleverer than a talking black cat?
A: A spelling bee!

Q: What do you call the black cat that was caught by the police?
A: The purrpatrator!

Q: What do you call a black cat that drinks vinegar?
A: A sour puss!

Q: What did the black cat say when he lost all his money?
A: I’m paw!

Q: What do people in England call little black cats?
A: Kittens!

Q: Why did the black cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit-ten!

Q: What do you call a witches cat that never comes when he’s called?
A: Impussible!

Q: When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
A: When you are a mouse!

Q: What did the black cat say to the fish?
A: I’ve got a bone to pick with you!

Q: Did you hear about the black cat who swallowed the ball of orange yarn?
A: She had Halloween mittens!

Q: Did you hear about the long-haired black cat who ran up the big phone bill?
A: She called Persian-to-Persian!

Q: What do you call a cross between a black cat and a skunk?
A: A mew pew!

Q: What do you get if you cross a hungry black cat and a canary?
A: A cat that isn’t hungry any more!

Q: What kind of baths do black cats like best?
A: Milk baths!

Q: Where does a black cat hang its wash?
A: On a fe-line!

Q: What do you get if you cross a black kitten with a vampire stake?
A: A cat-er-pillar!

Q: What do you call a black cat surrounded by a hundred mice?
A: Purr-fectly happy!

Q: Why did the black cats sell their homes?
A: The neighborhood had gone to the dogs!

Q: Did you ever see a catfish?
A: No! How did it hold the rod and reel?

Q: How do you make a black cat dizzy?
A: Put it in a tailspin!

Q: Which game did the black cat want to play with the mouse?
A: Catch!

Q: How do you mail a black cat?
A: Use fur-class mail!

Q: What’s the difference between a black cat and a comma?
A: One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other a pause at the end of the its clause!

Q: What do you use to comb a black cat?
A: A catacomb!

Q: Where does a black cat go when it loses its tail?
A: The retail store!

Q: Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of black cats?
A: Because each of them was guilty of purrjury!

Q: Why did the black cat run from the tree?
A: Because it was afraid of the bark!

Q: How do black cats end a fight?
A: They hiss and make up!

Q: What does a black cat do when it gets mad?
A: It has a hissy fit!

Q: Did you hear about the cat who drank 13 bowls of water?
A: He set a new lap record!

Q: What kind of car does a black cat drive?
A: A Catillac!

Q: What is the cat’s favorite magazine?
A: Good Mousekeeping!

Q: How does the black cat always get its own way?
A: It uses some friendly purrsuasion!

Q: What is a black cat’s favorite subject in school?
A: HISStory!

Q: Where is one place that your black cat can sit, but you can’t?
A: Your lap!

Q: How many cats can you put into an haunted house?
A: Only one. After that, the haunted house isn’t empty!

Q: Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you?
A: That depends on whether you’re a man or a mouse!

Q: Why did the black cat put oil on the mouse?
A: Because it squeaked!

Q: If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
A: Their paws!


Black Exotic Shorthair in a bumble-bee costume for Halloween

 

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