Cat Rescue Barbie


 

This Christmas season give the latest, hottest, trendiest new Barbie doll that every feline-loving little girl is wishing for ...

It's Cat Rescue Barbie!

  • Barbie is dressed in a scarlett gown ready for her traditional Christmas dinner, surrounded by her furry rescues inclusing Snowball, the white Persian cat.
  • But if she hears of a cat in need, she is ready for a quick change into jeans, grungy athletic shoes, and a t-shirt that says "Cats are Better Than Any Other Living Thing on Earth".
  • She comes with her own Ford Aero star van with various sizes of cat crates inside.
  • She has a road atlas of every town and state in all of North America, and a compass on the dashboard of the van.
  • She carries a cell phone that's barely working due to over use and underpayment.
  • Optional is the special "Rescue Cat Barbie laptop computer" with the names and addresses of every other cat rescue person on earth, in case she gets somewhere and a contact fails to show up.
  • Barbie's driving buddy is "Tripod", a three-legged, blind, mangy Persian cat available for an additional $49.95.
  • For $89.95, you can complete the set with "Pissed off husband at home, Ken."
  • Various foster kitties are available at $20 each.

Additional Accessories include......

  • Fake snow falling on Barbie's van ...... $12.95
  • Barbie's First Aid Kit: (human)...... $11.75
  • Barbie's First Aid Kit: (feline)...... $69.50
  • Barbie's Speeding Ticket...... $95 (Mississippi...... $195)
  • Barbie's coat-that-she-had-to-buy-in-Minnesota...... $85
  • Barbie's Vet Bill for Lucky in Vaughn, New Mexico...... $63.45
  • Barbie's contact, Rhonda, who she had to give gas money to in Mesa Verde, Texas...... $20.
  • Barbie's bill to get her contact, Larry, out of jail in Bakersfield, California...... $500.
  • Barbie's bill to get Larry's dogs out of the pound in Bakersfield, California...... $265.
  • Barbie's hotel & kennel bill in Laughlin, Nevada, while she waits for her contact...... $532.
  • Barbie's overalls that she has to buy while in Minden, Nebraska, hunting down a lost Siamese kitten...... $49.95
  • Pizza for Barbie's suspicious looking hitch-hiker with the sick kitten...... $15
  • Vet bill for hitch-hikers sick kitten in Des Moines, Iowa...... $143.29
  • Barbie's kitty wheelchair for "Klause" the rescued tuxedo cat from Leavenworth, Kansas...... $143.
  • Barbie's van detailing/fumigation from hauling a litter of kittens that had ringworm...... $187.
  • Barbie's resume to get a new job when she arrives home from the rescue run...... $29.95

Also available......

  • Folding ladder in vehicle...... $29.95
  • Have-a-heart trap...... $29.95
  • Cans of tuna for baiting the trap...... $11.95
  • Long handled fishing net...... $39.95
  • Case of Simple Solution cleaning fluid...... $259.95
  • Black light to detect cat urine...... $29.95
  • Tee shirt that says "The More I Know About Men, The More I Love My Cat"...... $19.95
  • Driving buddy, "Jeep", a 3-legged, tailless cat named after the vehicle that claimed her missing appendages...... $89.95
  • Vet bill for "Jeep"...... $397.95
  • Friend Edith, 87-year-old feral colony feeder, who calls begging favors when her arthritis acts up...... $59.95
  • Food for Edith's colony cats (after all, Edith is on Social Security)...... $139.95
  • Friend Margie, do-gooder with pristine home and one spoiled cat, whose idea of being a rescuer is to pick up strays and take them to Barbie for rehab, vetting, fostering, and placement...... $89.95
  • Vet bills for Margie's rescues...... $892.95
  • Mother Sadie, who calls weekly to ask Barbie when she is getting rid of those smelly cats and giving her some grandchildren...... $ 89.95 (telephone extra).
  • A psychiatrist who talks Barbie out of strangling the above-mentioned persons each week...... $500

    And finally ...

    A veterinarian who makes house calls, refuses to perform declaw surgeries and doesn't blink at unannounced visits or odd-hour consultations .............. Priceless.


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