What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
[Sandy Claws!]
What do elves learn in school?
[The Elf-abet!]
What was so good about the neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
[It was already wound up.]
Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
[Its true, Comet cleans sinks!]
How many reindeer does Santa Have???
[10 (named below)
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Rudolph (the one with the red nose)
Olive (Olive the other reindeer {all of})]
Mom, can I have a cat for Christmas?
[No, you can have turkey like everyone else.]
What nationality is Santa Claus?
[North Polish.]
What kind of bird can write?
[A PENguin.]
Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
[Because the angel had said,"No L!"]
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
[The turkey, he is always stuffed.]
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
[Claustrophobic.]
Judge: "What are you charged with?"
Prisoner: "Doing my Christmas shopping early."
Judge: "That's not an offense. How early were you doing this shopping?"
Prisoner: "Before the store opened."
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ?
[Santa Clues!]
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. Clerk: "What denomination?"
Woman: "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic."
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
[Jungle bells, jungle bells...]
What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
[Pour Santa flush on him.]
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
[Snowflakes.]
Q: What does Father Christmas write on his cards at Christmas?
A: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (no-L)
What's the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
[Your teeth.]
Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
[Because it has long-distance runners on each side.]
What are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
[They both drop their needles.]
Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
[because every buck is dear to him.]
How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
[Fleece Navidad!]
What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
[Crisp Cringle.]
Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !
