Christmas Riddles

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What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
...Sandy Claws!

What do elves learn in school?
...The Elf-abet!

What was so good about the neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
...It was already wound up.

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
...Its true, Comet cleans sinks!

How many reindeer does Santa Have???
...10 (named below)
Dasher,
Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph (the one with the red nose) and
Olive (Olive the other reindeer {all of})

Mom, can I have a cat for Christmas?
...No, you can have turkey like everyone else.

What nationality is Santa Claus?
...North Polish.

What kind of bird can write?
...A PENguin.


Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
...Because the angel had said,"No L!"


Who is never hungry at Christmas?
...The turkey, he is always stuffed.


What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
...Claustrophobic.

Judge: "What are you charged with?"
Prisoner: "Doing my Christmas shopping early."
Judge: "That's not an offense. How early were you doing this shopping?"
Prisoner: "Before the store opened."

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective ?
...Santa Clues!

A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. Clerk: "What denomination?"
Woman: "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic."

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
...Jungle bells, jungle bells ...

What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
...Pour Santa flush on him.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
...Snowflakes.

Q: What does Father Christmas write on his cards at Christmas?
A: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (no-L)

What's the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
...Your teeth.

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?
...Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

How are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
...They both drop their needles.

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
...because every buck is dear to him.

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
...Fleece Navidad!

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
...Crisp Cringle.

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
A-very merry Christmas !

 


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