Christmas Riddles

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Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Holly who ?
Holly-days are here again !

What if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?
They would have asked directions,
arrived on time,
helped deliver the baby,
cleaned the stable,
made a casserole,
and brought practical gifts.

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas Tree?
A pineapple.

What did the guest sing at the Eskimo Christmas Party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow...

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

Patient: Doctor, I'm scared of Father Christmas.
Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
Okay everyone, sack time!!

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?

I f Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?
A subordinate Claus.

Just before Christmas,
there was an honest politician,
a kind lawyer
and Santa Claus
travelling in a lift of a very posh hotel.
Just before the doors opened
they all noticed a $5 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up??
Santa of course, the other two don't exist!

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D"!

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon Hood.

The 3 stages of man:
1) He believes in Santa Claus.
2) He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
3) He is Santa Claus.

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
Wishing A Merry Christmas to Ewe.

One Christmas I got a battery with a note saying, "Toy not included."

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell.
Doctor: Take these pills and if they don't work, give me a ring.

And finally . . .

How do cats greet each other at Christmas?
Have a furry Merry Christmas and a Happy Mew Year.

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