25 Cat Jokes

  1. Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
  2. Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
  3. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
  4. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
  5. Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
  6. What is a cat's favourite song? Three Blind Mice.
  7. What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice? Don't you have a cat?
  8. What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.
  9. How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
  10. Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? For kitty littering.
  11. Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists? Because they finally opened their eyes.
  12. Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
  13. What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.
  14. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat? A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.
  15. What does a cat do when it gets mad? It has a hissy fit.
  16. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
  17. What happened when the cat went to the flea circus? He stole the whole show!
  18. What is a cat's favourite colour? Purrrrrrrple!
  19. Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The retail store.
  20. What does a cat like to eat on a hot day? A mice cream cone.
  21. What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator.
  22. What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck? A duck filled fatty puss.
  23. If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
  24. Why is the cat so grouchy? Because he's in a bad mewd.
  25. If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat? None! They were copy cats.



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