Bad Kitty 5

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In Bad Kitty 1, we were amused by a list of phrases cat owners should get their naughty pets to write on a blackboard as punishment for misbehavior. Well . . . kitties just keep getting into mischief, so here are some more possibilities . . .
  • I will not stalk my neighbor's cocker spaniel and scare it half to death.
  • I will not put my lovely new rabbits foot in Mummie's roller pan when it is filled with nice pink paint AND expect her to throw it for me so I can fetch it.
  • I will not interfere with the broom when my human is sweeping the floor.
  • I will not sink my claws into Mom's shoulder to get better traction for a jump.
  • I will not knock pennies off the nightstand at 3 AM in order to get Mom's attention.
  • Mom's dirty undies belong in the laundry pile, not in the middle of the living room floor or next to my food dish.
  • Mom will never let me eat her pet rat, and I am at peace with that.
  • I will not jump on the toilet seat just as my human is sitting down.
  • Now that I'm neutered, I will no longer chase and mount the spayed female cats.
  • I will not play the game "tiger attack" when mommy is weeding the garden.
  • I will not steal mom's pendant and hide it under the pillow.
  • Pipe cleaners are for pipe stems and are not kitty toys.
  • I will not raid the ashtray for new play toys.
  • I will not steal the scrub pad from the sink and drag it all over the house.
  • When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.
  • I will not knock the area rugs all over the hardwood floor.
  • I will not spill the recycling bin over the kitchen floor.
  • I will not remove all the nifty shiny things from the jewelery box on top of the five-foot tall clothes dresser.
  • Mommy's breasts are not pillows that need fluffing.
  • The living room is not a jungle gym with walls and curtains to be climbed.
  • I will cover my "presents" in the litter-box.
  • I realize that the house is not a prison, from which to escape at any opportunity.

 

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