Colonel Meow

Published February 2013

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Cats rule the internet. That is an actual statistical fact. But if cats rule the internet (and perhaps, one day, the world), then their leader might just be the furry, frowning feline known as Colonel Meow.

Colonel Meow is an extremely fluffy, grumpy, foul-mouthed cat that always looks like he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He is an internet sensation who has amassed almost 140,000 “likes” on his Facebook page, although Colonel Meow refers to his fans as his minions. That will give you an idea of this cat's attitude. World domination seems to be a distinct possibility.

Colonel Meow's Background

Colonel Meow is owned by Anne Marie Avey, a Seattle writer and bartender. When asked how she acquired the cat with attitude, Colonel Meow quickly interrupted and spoke up for himself,

"I was abandoned on the side of the road and rescued by the Himalayan and Persian Society. I went to the doctor and was cleared for adoption through Petco where I met my Master, Anne Marie Avey. She cuddles me and feeds me and even sings to me which makes me happy. So happy I fall asleep."

When one reporter pressed him for more details about his lineage, Colonel Meow haughtily growled,

“I am a mix of Persian, Himalayan, Chuck Norris, owl, blue things, dust bunnies, and glow-in-the-dark beads. I'm pretty sure the breed is called, 'The Most Amazing Cat That Ever Lived."

Internet Sensation

When asked how he became such a huge internet sensation, Colonel Meow deferred to his "master".

Anne Marie responded, “I would roll out of bed and look at Colonel and he would just be staring at me and I'd just start laughing. He had all these types of faces and positions he would get into and I just had to share it.”

That Coif

Part of Colonel's "charm" (?) is his unusual hairstyle. His poofy coat requires regular maintenance and, as befits his star status, he must always look his best. Anne Marie brushes him frequently with the FURminator, a favorite with longhaired kitties. He also makes regular visits to a cats-only groomer to have his fur trimmed and fluffed. It is difficult to tell whether he appreciates his time in the beauty parlor. He never smiles afterwards. 

Yum Yum

The Colonel says on his Facebook page that he loves to eat.

“My favorite thing to do is eat. When I'm not eating, I feel like I forgot to eat so I go back to eating again.”

But despite his love for food, the Colonel is picky. “He only eats Natural Balance cat food, and he only likes the duck formula,” Avey shared. “And he loves his Greenies!” 

His Life Philosophy

Colonel Meow isn't here to make friends. He's here to do a job. As such, he doesn't have time for pleasantries or pussy-footing around.

“It's not attention I want. It's complete loyalty. My minions are here to serve, and I expect them to do just that. Day and night.”

Colonel Meow's gruff leadership seems to be effective, judging by his popularity on social media sites.


While most cats can be distant and aloof, this Seattle cat is over the top with the whole “Cats rule the world” thing. Colonel Meow preaches,

“MINIONS! As much as I love my developing army of cats, I would love their MASTERS to conform to the Frown. Public frowns. Frown bomb your Boss, coworker, barista, landlord, roommate, that guy who got the promotion you wanted, the server who screws up your order, your mom. Frown bomb your MOM, Minions! Now go out there and try again!”

Cat's Best Friend - Not

Perhaps the one closest to the Colonel is his ever-faithful sidekick, Boots the Golden Retriever, who appears in many of Colonel Meow's posts. Colonel comments about his canine companion,

“Boots, my best friend (I'm saying that only 'cuz she's right here) does almost everything for me, except feed me and clean up my @%!&,” he said. “But I'm looking to hire someone else (just kidding, Boots!) because she's an idiot Golden Retriever (seriously ... I'm kidding!).”

CM's Little Secret

Despite his larger-than-life personality, Colonel Meow is really just a little kitty under all that fur. He's only weighs about nine pounds underneath that hair-do.

A Star Is Born

Colonel has appeared on the Ellen Degeneres Show and Anderson Live. His image has inspired many captions on the I Can Has Cheezburger? website.

Final Impression of Colonel Meow

Despite the fact that Colonel Meow frequently orders his social media army to #spreadthefrown, there is something about this cat with attitude that makes people smile.  With his mesmerizing frown and piercing green eye, people seem to have no choice but to join the Colonel's ranks.

All photos courtesy of Colonel Meow

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