Excerpts From The Pet's Diary



The other day, while cleaning my six month old kitten's favorite feline's cat tree, I looked inside the covered snuggly box at the base and discovered my cat's was keeping a diary, tucked underneath her favorite blanket. Surprised that she kept a diary, I wondered if my dog might also. After a little searching, I found his diary as well, tucked down the side of the cushion in his dog bed.

Call me curious, or just plain nosey, but I just couldn't resist reading what they had written... 

The Cat's Diary Entry

Day 183 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn more about what this is, and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, or more likely snitches.

The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The rabbit seems to have a distressful nasal condition. His nose twitches constantly. He never speaks.

The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, for now his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

The Dog's Diary Entry

8am -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am -- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm -- Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm -- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm -- Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm -- Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm -- Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

 

 


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