With the 2010 winter Olympics in full swing in Vancouver, Canada, you may have a feline athlete in your own home that doesn't want to be left out of all the competitive fun, so look around the house and see if your cats may be participating in their own furry version of the Olympics. Below are some of the showcase sports to watch for ...
Round-the-House Window-to-Window Relay Race
While speed skaters race around an oval of ice at the Olympics, the kitty athlete must compete in a race of its own design - typically multiple laps from the back of the sofa to the hallway, through the bedroom and back to the couch again in a full out sprint. Extra points are awarded if the cat gives the impression they are being chased by a monster.
Best done before the cat's paws have been clipped. Extra points for the amount of fur yanked out of opponents rear with each tap.
Catch the Tail:
The venue for this sport is most often a kitchen or coffee table top. The object is to catch the tip of the other cat's tail as she passes under the table. It usually leads to a Sumo Tag competition.
The ultimate tag game, the object is first to grab their opponent by the throat with the mouth, pin her to the floor, then to back away, run at her full speed and send her flying in to the next room. This is not a sport for the faint of heart feline.
The Ironing Board Challenge:
The ironing board is set up with one piece of clothing one one end and an on-end iron on the other. The challenge is for the cat athlete to remove the clothing from the board without upending the iron on its head. Skills and talents needed include sharp claws, delicate balance and good eye-to-paw coordination.
Self explanatory. Higher points in this event if the laundry is clean and it is shedding season. Can also be done as a team event.
Any time, any place... bonus location points awarded as follows:
- 10 points: Someplace where your humans are likely to walk barefoot in the middle of the night. Right in front of the bathroom door is perfect.
- 7 points: If performed on the bed or a guest's coat
- 5 points: In the dining room during a dinner party
Scoring based on overall size of plant and number of leaves chewed. Bonus points awarded if the eating is followed shortly by vomiting.
Points are earned for the size of the vase and the style in which it is tipped. Extra points if the water in the tipped vase soaks and destroys some important papers.
Aluminum Ball Chasing and Fetching:
Bonus points for fetching balls that ricochet down the stairwell.
Early Morning Body Toss:
This event consists of the cat throwing itself repeatedly against a closed bedroom door early in the morning. Extra points are awarded for knocking all the towels off the rack in the bathroom or unrolling the toilet paper. More bonus points if the event is completed before 6:00 am on a Sunday morning.
Applies only to people food. Extra points for participating in this event when your humans have dinner guests. Can be performed prior to Synchronized Vomiting.
Extra points if performed on the people's bed, in the middle of the night when they are sleeping. Bonus points if you arrange yourselves near their heads.
Need we say more? Most feline athletes win gold in this event with little training.