My Cat's Favorite Quotes


I secretly suspect that every cat is well-read.

A cat often has an air of superiority about it that one only achieves through much study of literature, history, art and science.

You need only to look into a cat's eyes to know that felines are deep thinkers...

And perhaps, like their human roommates, cats may just have a list of quotes that they admire the most. Some quotes may refer to the feline species... and some may be more pertinent to the human condition.

Whichever it may be... here is a list of MY cat's favorite quotes...

~~~~~

The only cats worth anything are the cats who take chances.
-- Thelonius Monk

~~~~~

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
-- Frank Zappa

~~~~~

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
-- Groucho Marx

~~~~~

I am a Marxist, of the Groucho tendency.
-- Anon., French slogan

~~~~~

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
-- H. L. Mencken

~~~~~

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.
-- H. H. Munro ("Saki")

~~~~~

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain

~~~~~

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
-- George Carlin

~~~~~

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
-- Edgar Bergen (via Charlie McCarthy)

~~~~~

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-- Mark Twain

~~~~~

I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.
-- Oscar Wilde

~~~~~

The gods too are fond of a joke.
-- Aristotle

~~~~~

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.
-- Oscar Wilde

~~~~~

I've been trying for some time to develop a lifestyle that doesn't require my presence.
-- Gary Trudeau

~~~~~

Let's have some new clichés.
-- Samuel Goldwyn

~~~~~

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
-- Mark Twain

~~~~~

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
-- W. C. Fields

~~~~~

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost

~~~~~

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
-- Jean Giraudoux

~~~~~

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein

~~~~~

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin

~~~~~

Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
-- Mae West

~~~~~

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
-- H. L. Mencken

~~~~~

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- e. e. cummings

~~~~~

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
-- Garrison Keillor

~~~~~

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
-- Timothy Leary

~~~~~

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
-- Mark Twain

~~~~~

Life is what happens while you are making other plans.
-- John Lennon

~~~~~

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.
-- Oscar Wilde

~~~~~

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb

~~~~~

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
-- Bertrand Russell

~~~~~

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
-- Jean Paul Sartre

~~~~~

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Goethe

~~~~~

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
-- Jeff Valdez

~~~~~

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
-- Mae West

~~~~~

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
-- Douglas Adams

~~~~~

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
-- Robert Benchley

~~~~~

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
-- Winston Churchill

~~~~~

Doing a thing well is often a waste of time.
-- Robert Byrne

~~~~~

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
-- Joseph Wood Krutch

~~~~~

The Universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
-- Eden Philpotts

~~~~~

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
-- Edgar Bergen (via Charlie McCarthy)

~~~~~

Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.
-- Mark Twain

~~~~~

If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live.
-- Lin Yutang

~~~~~

All my life I wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
-- Jane Wagner (via Lily Tomlin)

~~~~~

Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels.
-- Faith Whittlesey

~~~~~

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
-- Albert Einstein

~~~~~

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
-- Mary Wilson Little

~~~~~

When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France


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