Roller Poopies - A Game For Cats


The game of "Cat Roller Poopies" is sweeping the nation as felines everywhere are becoming enthusiastic about this new activity. Combining healthy feline exercize with a cat-petitive spirit, this easy-to-learn game utilizes easy to find "equipment" common to most households.

Do you have a cat who might be interested in learning how to play Roller Poopies? It's easy and fun! Here's how to get started...

Rules of Play

  1. One or more cats and/or kittens may compete.
  2. Poopies used must be good and dry, and preferably rounded and small, in order to roll properly and fit into the various goals.
  3. A non-carpeted floor should be used as the playing court.
  4. Game is to be played at night, just as owners are about to fall asleep.
  5. Object of the game:  250 points to be scored within an 8 hour period of time divided into four 1 hour periods of play interchanged with four 1 hour periods of rest.

Scoring

  1. Retrieval of Poopies from the Litter Pan:

         A. Two-paw retrieval............................................2 points
         B. One-paw retrieval.............................................5 points
         C. Retrieval of inadequate or mushy poopie.......minus 5 points

  2. Dribbling Poopies

         A. Non-stop to within 4 feet of litter pan..................3 points
         B. Non-stop across the kitchen floor........................5 points
         C. Non-stop from pan, through kitchen and
              into living room................................................7 points
         D. Same as C, done in presence of the owner's
              dinner guests.................................................10 points

  3. Passing of Poopies (in air at least 2 seconds)

         A. One kitty toss in air..........................................3 points
         B. Completed forward pass.....................................5 points
         C. If poopie shatters on impact.............................10 points

  4. Goals in Roller Poopies

         A. Under stove or refrigerator.............................5 points
         B. Under furniture with 1" clearance...................10 points
         C. Dead center of food plate............................15 points
         D. Water dish................................................25 points

  5. Bonus Points

         A. Water Dish Goals
              1) For every hour before discovery.......................5 points
              2) If nearly dissolved upon discovery...................10 points
              3) If owner gags when dumping..........................15 points
 

     B. For Placing in 3:00 A.M. Path to Bathroom
          1) So the owner steps on it with bare feet...........10 points
          2) If nearly dissolved upon discovery...................10 points

     C. Movement of Poopies up the Stairs
          1) With mouth (never observed)...........................5 points
          2) Using paws, 1 step at a time..........................10 points
          3) On wooden steps between 12:00-6:00 A.M.......20 points

     D. Night-time Bonus
          1) After lights out..............................................5 points
          2) After 2:00 A.M.............................................10 points
          3) If the owner confiscates poopy, having another
               one in play within 10 minutes.........................15 points


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