Signs Your Cat Is Fat


 

The signs that your cat is fat are:

The Cat door is retro-fitted with a garage door opener.
~~~
Confused guests constantly mistake him for a beanbag chair.
~~~
He always lands on his spleen.
~~~


There are fewer calls to the fire department,
but a sudden upsurge in broken tree branches.
~~~
She has been pregnant for fifteen months - and still no kittens.
~~~


He no longer cleans himself unless he is first coated in Cheese Whiz.
~~~
Roseanne fits through your kitty door without the aid of lubricants.
~~~
1The cat food dish is replaced with a cattle trough.
~~~
The luxurious, shiny black fur has been replaced by a mint green polyester pants suit.
~~~


1It's no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
~~~
1"Steals breath" from all five quintuplets, simultaneously.
~~~
Larry King keeps trying to kiss it full on the lips.
~~~
1 He waits for the third bowl of food before he gets finicky.
~~~


1 He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.
~~~


1 His enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
~~~

and . . .
the Number 1 Sign . . .
That Your Cat is Overweight is . . .



He has more chins . . .
than lives. . .


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