Signs Your Cat Is Fat


The signs that your cat is fat are:

The Cat door is retro-fitted with a garage door opener.
Confused guests constantly mistake him for a beanbag chair.
He always lands on his spleen.

There are fewer calls to the fire department,
but a sudden upsurge in broken tree branches.
She has been pregnant for fifteen months - and still no kittens.

He no longer cleans himself unless he is first coated in Cheese Whiz.
Roseanne fits through your kitty door without the aid of lubricants.
1The cat food dish is replaced with a cattle trough.
The luxurious, shiny black fur has been replaced by a mint green polyester pants suit.

1It's no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
1"Steals breath" from all five quintuplets, simultaneously.
Larry King keeps trying to kiss it full on the lips.
1 He waits for the third bowl of food before he gets finicky.

1 He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.

1 His enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.

and . . .
the Number 1 Sign . . .
That Your Cat is Overweight is . . .

He has more chins . . .
than lives. . .

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