There Once Was A Kitten Named Clyde


Published July 2009

There once was a kitten called Clyde
Who jumped in a car for a ride
He did Formula Three
And then a Grand Prix
But Damon Hill won't let him drive.

The ride that he took was a tonic
So he decided to go supersonic
And in Thrust SSC
Two world records he beat
But the sonic boom left him moronic.

He said "I've gone through the sound barrier"
My next spin will be in a Harrier
And he now plans to get
His personal Lear Jet
Since it's more fun than a wire fronted carrier.

For the space shuttle Clyde volunteered
To go to the moon or to Mir,
He wanted to see
If life at zero G
Was more fun than staying down here.

The trip that he made was a classic
But the expenses they left him boracic
That is boracic lint
By which I mean skint
"But there's more!" of that Clyde was emphatic.

He'd grown tired of shuttles and cars
And soon he was hoping for Mars
He raided some banks
And applied to the Yanks
For a new career amongst the stars.

Before Clyde could even say "mew"
He was cruising the stars around Leo
Never mind motor racing
He's the first cat in space
Is there anything Clyde cannot do?

When Clyde came back from his trip
In front of the gas fire he'd sit
I've ridden in cars
Been launched beyond Mars
That's the last time that I take catnip!


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