The Truth... sort of

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What we say is not always exactly we mean.
Sometimes we are trying to just be nice.
Sometimes we are trying to be kind.
And sometimes we are presenting
the facts in as flattering
a way as possible
...
So, here's the
truth...


We say...
He is a noted Judge
We Mean...

He put up our cat


*

We say...
He is Respected Judge
We Mean...

He put up our cat twice

*

We say...
He is an esteemed Judge
We Mean...

He puts up anything of ours that we put in the ring

*

We say...
Our cat won another Best In Show
We Mean...

Our cat won another Best In Show...
It was his second BIS... under the same judge, our uncle


*

We say...
He is a specialist Judge
We Mean...

He puts up anything that looks like his own breeding

*

We say...
The cat was shown sparingly
We Mean...

The cat was shown only when we knew we had it in the bag

*

We say...
The cat is a show prospect
We Mean...

The cat has 4 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 tail
***NOTE, If the cat is a Manx, the tail will be optional

*

We say...
The cat finished in 5 shows
We Mean...

The cat finished in 5 shows not counting
the 29 shows he went to where he didn't win a ribbo
n

*

We say...
The cat has good points
We Mean...

The cat has a bump on his head

*

We say...
The cat won in heavy competition
We Mean...

The other cats were exceedingly overweight

*

We say...
The cat is gentle natured
We Mean...

The cat is on tranquilizers

*

We say...
The cat has personality plus
We Mean...

The cat wakes up if you blow catnip up his nose

*

We say...
The cat is large boned
We Mean...

The cat looks like a Saint Bernard

*

We say...
The cat has a good bite
We Mean...
The cat bit his owner
Then the cat bit the judge
And finally the cat bit the ring steward

*

We say...
The cat has a lovely head
We Mean...

The cat has 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 mouth and 1 nose

*

We say...
The cat is at stud to "approved" queens
We Mean...

Those queens whose owners check "clears" the bank

*

We say...
The cat is linebred on a great cat
We Mean...

GC Big Name appears twice in the 9th generation

*

We say...
The cat is a terrific breeding queen
We Mean...

The cat's type is the pits, but she throws big litters
*

We say...
He is a great stud cat
We Mean...

He breeds anything that can fog a mirror

*

We say...
The cat loves children
We Mean...

The cat loves children for breakfast, lunch and dinner

*

And the most careful "truth" of all is when your best friend
asks you what you think of her new show kitten...

You say...
Your new kitten is adorable!
You Mean...

He has a long head,
with high ears
and a crooked nose,
will never make a final,
but I know you love him
and I don't want to hurt your feelings

 

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